yup

Memories...

Just kidding, I dont remember but look at how AWESOME it is!!

                             Im guessing summer of '76

what I have learned in 11 years of being a parent

Sounds crazy to say I have been a Mom for 11 years. I sometimes feel like I am still that girl in Middle School that isn't mature enough to act my age, or I am still in Arizona and trying to find myself or where I fit in this crazy world. I often wonder if I am qualified to raise 3 kids that I didn't take classes for or get certified or read enough on how to deal with these little monsters.
I have learned allot of little things like not sweating the small stuff. You cant freak out about your daughter drawing on the carpet with permanent marker, it wont come out, put a rug over it. I cant have a vision in my head on how holidays or birthdays will play out. They are still just regular days and kids will still fight, husbands will still get annoyed because there are toys being opened without the other toys being put away. And the other kids will still get jealous and ask why didn't I get that and he got that. I have learned that no matter how hard you try you will never be organised enough to keep up with the 40 pieces of paper that come home from school everyday. Sometimes homework is forgotten, sometimes permission slips are not turned in right away, and sometimes I make lunches and forget to put them in their backpacks.
I have learned that eating dinner at the table is a really great thing.
I have learned to let them wrestle knowing that someone will end up crying or getting hurt.
I know that letting them turn up songs they love leads to having me in tears watching them dance to the beat of their own drum.
I have learned that even though I am ready for them to go to bed how important it is to lay with them and listen to what they have to say even though I am so spent that having being asked 1 more question I fear having to check myself into the psych ward. But this is when these kids are opening up to me and wanting my comfort/advice or to just lay next to them as they fall asleep.
I have learned to tell them daily how much I love them really makes them feel good and you can never say it enough. And sometimes they need to be looked in the eye and tell them why I love them so much and its not just 3 words, it is 3 powerful words that can make or break a day.
I have learned that each kid is different and dealing with them the same way I dealt with the others, doesn't work. They are little people with different souls that have different needs. 
I have learned to love the small stuff. The way Tristen comes up to me for no reason and asks for a hug and needs my unconditional love. The way Tanner smiles at me when he thinks he is tricking me. The way Cassidy puts together her own Punky Brewster clothes and is so proud her matching pink shirt that has glitter on it to match her tutu and then wants to wear her cowboy boots.
I have learned that I would much rather be with the kids on a Saturday night instead of getting a babysitter. And I have also learned that sometimes I NEED to get a babysitter so I can go out and be Carrie and not have someone call me Mom every 12 seconds.
I have learned that taking each kid out one at a time can make a huge difference and see how they act without having 2 siblings around that also want to attention.
And the cleaning of the house part...sucks. I read someone say before that cleaning the house with the kids around is like trying to eat an OREO while brushing your teeth. wont ever argue that statement.
Sometimes I lose my patience and get upset that I yell louder and I am only human and it wont effect the other great memories that they will have when they are older.
I have learned that no matter how much I have learned it will never be enough and I need to keep on learning.
I tend to bite off more than I can chew and I am learning to decide what really matters and pick my battles. And if I cant go to a PTA meeting doesn't mean I don't care, I just cant do it sometimes and the meeting will still go on without me.
I have learned that having 1 handful of amazing friends is enough.
I have learned to lean on family members and not be afraid to ask for help sometimes.
I am lucky to say the least, I have a husband that goes above and beyond and sometimes acts like one of my own children but I wouldn't change that for anything, he is my rock and I couldn't do this without him.
I have learned to keep rolling with the punches, to keep swimming and to keep on keeping on.
I have learned to really soak in special moments as I watch Cassidy's last preschool Halloween party even though I might be behind in my work stuff, I can never get that Halloween party back and the work will still be on my desk the next day. And to take time to watch Tanner draw and seeing me watching him is more important to him than the actual drawing. And to talk to Tristen about how much football has meant to him and why he feels like I should learn all the plays so I know why he did what he did when he made that tackle on the field.
I have learned that disciplining my kids is my weakness and I try to give them 5 ways out of it before I do discipline them. It may have taken 11 years but I know that they do respect me more when I correct them and it gets easier. I wont always feel bad about 22 minutes of time outs in 1 day. And a glass of wine helps me forget ;)
I have learned to give credit to a community that has also helped mold my babies and accept the fact that I cant do this alone. And I'm so thankful to have the people around me that I do trust to guide them in the right direction.
I know there is so much more to learn. I know that everyday is a constant struggle to keep things rolling and some days I will feel defeated and some days I do a pretty good job at this mom thing.
But with every phase we go through, ever Lego I step on, every sock that is missing and every mistake I make, I will get though this and I will someday look back and wish I could do these days again because I cant get a re-do.
What I have learned in 11 years is that I need 11 more before I can get this shit down. And even then I will still say Can I get another 11 years please?!
keep swimming, keep on keeping on and hold on to these moments as they pass...
And NEVER quit learning.
This is some of what I have learned in 11 years...stay tuned

ONE TEAM ONE PLAY

      Football season is in full swing. I love it, I really do. I love watching my husband and son on and off the field making memories together and knowing someday both of them will look back at these days and be thankful they have them stored in the back of their minds. I love watching the boys huddle up and get each other fired up and hitting each others helmets and pads and rooting their team mates on. I love that they encourage each other and really do want to see each other succeed. I love when they win and they walk off the field proud of each other as a team and I think its amazing how when they lose they all come together as a team and don't blame 1 person or 1 coach. They are a team and they win and lose as a team. I love the bonds that they make with each other that I'm sure only they can feel and explain. They are a family, win or lose.
      And as I tend to feel like a single mother of 2 during football season, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I work 7:30 till 4, T and Trist leave for practice around 4:30, they get home before 8 and T goes to work at 8:15 until I'm fast asleep (usually). So during the week we see each other for maybe 20 minutes a day. And in those 20 minutes we are talking about who made lunches, is homework done, how was school, ect. So we get to the weekend/game day and it isn't full of family time, it goes like this. I'm the nervous Mom that walks around the house asking 100 questions, Are you feeling ok? Are you ready for today?  Did you eat? Can I do anything? Does the other team have giant players? Whats their record? ect... While I am asking, T and Tristen couldn't be more opposite. They are quiet, the pace, they keep their nerves inside and just wait to be on that field. They do their best to put up with me, the nervous talker, but I know they are both secretly getting all the gear together FAST so they can get the hell outta the house and on to the field. I'm ok with it, I get it. Venus and Mars thing going on and whatever, we make it work.
         I feel like we as a family sacrifice allot for football season and I know Thomas was made to be a coach. He is LOUD, he is passionate, he wants ALL of the kids to know they are all important. One team one play is the motto, he has fun and wants them to have fun and does this all for the love of the game and these kids. He teaches them respect and gives them confidence and not just our son. In fact all of the coaches that I have watched this season put every ounce of energy into these kids. We have coaches on the team that don't even have kids on the team or even live in Clawson. We have a coach that is raising his 3 kids and coaching as his wife is overseas in the military. They do this for the love of the game and to be apart of this family.
       Ohh and did I mention that this is all volunteer?! No one is paid, they rearrange their schedule and lives for 4 months to be apart of this FOR FREE.
        So as a mom and wife its a little different for me. I get to hear all the sh*t talk in the stands (and facebook) and sometimes it isn't easy for me to deal with. Of course I'm defensive, of course I want to jump to defend the coaches and kids because I see all the time and work that it takes to get to the point of watching on game day. The coaches send out emails and talk to these kids everyday about playing safe, having fun and also telling them (and parents) if you feel like there is something wrong or feel like they are not getting enough playing time or if they want to try a new position, SAY SOMETHING. None of these coaches want any of these kids to feel that way. Yes Thomas has a son that plays on his team but on that field they are all his kids, they all care about each one of them, not just their own. And I bet if you ask these kids they will say the same thing, they are all 1 family. If Tristen ever came home from practice or a game and was upset because of playing time or the way he is treated, I would be the first one at practice the next day asking questions and trying to solve the problem. I would do this with any sport, on any team. Here is an example, I asked Thomas if Tristen was good enough to play 1st string defense or offense, he said "Yeah probably but he isn't hitting as hard as 1st string and he is going up against 1st string players on the other team, too risky don't wanna get him killed." Good enough answer for me! Makes sense and who wouldn't agree when its about your kids NOT getting hurt. So the coaches DO have the kids best interest in mind and doesn't want injury's, what a concept!
        So before you throw any negative comments out on game day or post crap bashing the team or the coaches, ask yourself, are you doing that for attention and intentionally trying to make the whole organized program look bad because you don't have the balls to walk up to someone after a practice and simply ask if there is a reason or are you really wanting to solve the issue you have? Because to all of the people that are putting all their blood sweat and tears in these 4 months, you look like "that guy (or girl)" that just wants to complain, maybe next year you should volunteer your time if you believe you could do better. Stand up for your kid, talk to the coaches that spend as much time with your kid as you do, all of the coaches promote communication and want input. I promise there is a reason and it isn't because there are favorites or your kid isn't liked. Sometimes it is done for their own protection. Call me crazy but I would rather have my kid protected until he is ready then thrown out there with kids that can smear him up and down the field.
         My kid goes to school and practice everyday and even tries to pretend not to be sick so he wont miss a practice. I know the feeling of watching your child go through hell so that he doesn't feel like he is going to disappoint his team or coaches. Ya know what that got him? Bronchitis. So I put my Mom hat on and stand firm and tell him that LIFE HAPPENS, sometimes it does suck, sometimes you get sick and have to sit out. But that's my job to try to make him understand that you take the good with the bad and ya just gotta keep on keepin on. I wont be that mom that yells about it on game day not being fair that he isn't in every play or come home and post it on facebook that he isn't being treated right and wish he played for a different city. I will be the mom that stands up for him, fights for him, protects him and be his biggest fan in the stands.
       Thank you to all the coaches that help my son become a young man, thank you for teaching him that hard work pays off and thank you for sometimes having to put up with the politics of being a coach. Most people would rather sit on the sidelines and form opinions instead of putting the time and patience it takes to be a coach.
       Most of the time these coaches get burnt out because of the parents and rarely have anything to do with the kids. Don't let the few complainers represent all of us because most of us are proud to have you on our side as you help us teach our boys (or girls) become young men (or woman).  So thank you, your hard work does not go unnoticed.

SUMMER 2012

these babies of mine have gotten so big...

These two make my heart melt, I hope they are always this close, so special.

                                    Tristen ran in the 4th of July parade and made us so proud!

                                      This is his "friend" Kylee who we just adore!

   Tanner lost his first tooth after MANY months of waiting! This is one proud and happy boy!!

                                       Thomas and his baby girl, these 2 are attached at the hip

                                         Boys went to a Tigers clinic with some buddies.

 My grumpy Tanman and I on the 4th of July. It was a long hot day for him and well, he is his mothers child so he doesn't fake his moods. He is still my lil lover.

 Now we KNOW what makes this kid happy...hanging with football players. Tristen and Thomas and some friends got to go to a Lions practice and meet some of the players. Yup, heaven for a 10 (and 37) year old.

And this is my new tatt that I love. Its a verse in a Counting Crows song that has been in my head for almost 20 years and I remember the exact moment when I fell in love with these words. I was in California with Julie and driving around and on Sunset Blvd.  I looked around and was thinking that I really needed to take these things in and remember them forever and the second I thought that these words came from the radio. So everytime anything happens that catches me in that AWE phase I say these words to myself...

My little beauty

Sweet Cassidy

Detroit Tribune article on us!

http://www.dailytribune.com/articles/2011/06/19/sports/doc4dfbcfe28c6e8103276258.txt

the One

I remember walking down Buckingham with him holding hands when he looked at me and I knew this time its gonna work and now I am ready to commit the rest of my life to him.

You see Thomas and I have been together since I was 19 and he was 18 as I stared at him at Wades graduation party thinking to myself, DAMN that kid grew up and he is lookin goooood!

Thomas and Wade were best friends growing up and Wade and I were always pretty close so I always knew of Thomas, most call him T and who could forget that name. And not to mention his great abs. Our first official date was a week after Wades party, it was more/less a group date but we held hands for the first time so I consider it a date. We went to the 4th of July fireworks and sat in Canada. That is when this all started...with fireworks.

We stayed inseparable and grew up together by doing all the 20 something phase that you go through, bars, parties, freedom, JOBS, and in the process we became best friends, learned from each other, learned about each other and had ups and downs but Thomas was always my best friend.

Naturally we were entering another stage of our relationship and it seemed right to talk about marriage, we love each other, we didnt want to be apart and it felt like the next step. We were 23 and at a friends wedding reception on a boat on Lake Erie. Thomas took me on a walk to the front of the boat, got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. It was so romantic and beautiful, I was on cloud nine and said yes without hesitation.

As time passed and we wanted a long engagement I started questioning myself, getting married so young, not having found out for myself who I really was (or thought I was) and it wasn't that I didn't love Thomas its that I think because I am a kid from a divorced family I was scared to death that I would do the same thing and I knew I didn't want to set myself up to fail. Then I did the hardest thing I ever had done before and told the man I loved that I needed to go travel and find myself and figure things out (sounds corny but still true). And we cried and we were sad and to this day thinking about it gives me a pit in my stomach. He knew I had to go and he let me and as I drove off in his moms old beat up cougar he would tell me he would wait forever (but I'm sure inside he wanted to kick my ass). So I packed up and followed my brother out to Arizona and spent the next few years floating around the west. But one thing never changed and that was my feelings for Thomas. He dated, I dated, never lasted, no one compared, and we talked to each other all the time when I would come home to visit, we were together and when I was 2000 miles away, in my heart we were still together.

I came home in 99 and the love was still there, just different. We both grew up, we both gained our own independence without leaning on each other or anyone else and I couldn't see Thomas without those same ol' fireworks that we saw on our first date.

And then one day on a walk on a spring day everything felt as if it had fell into place. We decided we were going to get married again, FOR REAL!

After going back and forth on the when and where's, something (or someone) had come into our lives and made it allot easier on the when part of getting married (asap) but the where was still the big question. Then one night my dad and I were talking and he said joking Carrie if Thomas could pick where he wanted to get married it would be a football field so where ever you decide he will be fine. And then I remember thinking my God, WHY NOT?! He was right, Thomas would LOVE it and I kinda felt like I owed it to him. Why not make it different?! We are not the normal couple so why have a normal wedding?!

So on June 15th 2001 I stood on the 50 yard line of Berkley's Hurley football field and said I do to a man that has made me laugh, smile, feel true love and he believed in me when I didn't even know who me was.

Thomas you have made my life a fairy tale, thank you for being my prince on a white horse and carrying me off to a beautiful life. I feel blessed and lucky to have you.

Not even 2000 miles can keep soulmates apart.

look at us now...

...and they lived happily ever after.

my lil cheeseball

Just a few cute pic's that my friend Jay took. Cassie is growing up so fast and yes I am emotional about it.
Come on, she is my last baby...
who isn't a baby anymore!

Happy Birthday to my Dad

If you have met me or have spoke to me before, you probably know how I feel about my dad. At 36 years old I still have no problem in the fact I am still a daddy's girl.

Growing up there are the obvious reasons why he was my hero, he was a firefighter, a police officer, handsome, brave and well, my dad. But as I reached the teenage years he became my friend, someone I wanted to be like and the person I would go to when life didn't make sense. He always had a way of dissecting problems and help make me realize what I needed to do or how I needed to deal with things. He made me feel special, he gave me my confidence, he was an adult size version of my best friend.

I got older, moved far away, needing to prove to myself that I could stand on my own. And I did...kinda. 3,000 miles away I still needed my dad (and not just for a flight home). He was still that person that I called to make things right. Guaranteed whenever I called we wouldn't get off the phone till I was 'ok' with whatever issue a 20 something yr old goes through.

I move home, married my awesome husband and had 3 beautiful babies and today that's what phase of my life I am in. But it seems no matter what phase I am in, Marc Robert Chambers still plays a major roll in my life. Now, I'm the parent, I work full time, my weekends are filled with soccer and football games and busier than I have ever been before and I do my best to be the kind of parent that my Mom and Dad were to me. And DAMN, it is hard work!

I don't get to see my Dad as much as I want, I don't get to talk to him as much as I want as my days consist of trying to keep up and do as good as a job as he did. But at the end of the day this man is still the one I call for the exact same reasons I did when I was a kid. Yes I believe I am lucky and no I don't think every girl has the same type of relationship as I do with my Dad. He isn't just my Dad, he is my rock, he is my friend, and I can honestly say there are so many people and reasons why I am the person I am today but without him, I don't know where I would be on this very day.

Dad, you are my James Taylor, you are my hero, your that person that I look to when the world makes me wonder. So as I sit here writing this with a lump in my throat and big tears in my eyes knowing that someone else also thinks this about their dad, but ya know what?! they are wrong. You are my one and only and I just love and adore you more than I could ever express on a blog, a card or in person.

Thank you Pops, Happy Birthday and thank you for being my one and only.