Sounds crazy to say I have been a Mom for 11 years. I sometimes feel like I am still that girl in Middle School that isn't mature enough to act my age, or I am still in Arizona and trying to find myself or where I fit in this crazy world. I often wonder if I am qualified to raise 3 kids that I didn't take classes for or get certified or read enough on how to deal with these little monsters.
I have learned allot of little things like not sweating the small stuff. You cant freak out about your daughter drawing on the carpet with permanent marker, it wont come out, put a rug over it. I cant have a vision in my head on how holidays or birthdays will play out. They are still just regular days and kids will still fight, husbands will still get annoyed because there are toys being opened without the other toys being put away. And the other kids will still get jealous and ask why didn't I get that and he got that. I have learned that no matter how hard you try you will never be organised enough to keep up with the 40 pieces of paper that come home from school everyday. Sometimes homework is forgotten, sometimes permission slips are not turned in right away, and sometimes I make lunches and forget to put them in their backpacks.
I have learned that eating dinner at the table is a really great thing.
I have learned to let them wrestle knowing that someone will end up crying or getting hurt.
I know that letting them turn up songs they love leads to having me in tears watching them dance to the beat of their own drum.
I have learned that even though I am ready for them to go to bed how important it is to lay with them and listen to what they have to say even though I am so spent that having being asked 1 more question I fear having to check myself into the psych ward. But this is when these kids are opening up to me and wanting my comfort/advice or to just lay next to them as they fall asleep.
I have learned to tell them daily how much I love them really makes them feel good and you can never say it enough. And sometimes they need to be looked in the eye and tell them why I love them so much and its not just 3 words, it is 3 powerful words that can make or break a day.
I have learned that each kid is different and dealing with them the same way I dealt with the others, doesn't work. They are little people with different souls that have different needs.
I have learned to love the small stuff. The way Tristen comes up to me for no reason and asks for a hug and needs my unconditional love. The way Tanner smiles at me when he thinks he is tricking me. The way Cassidy puts together her own Punky Brewster clothes and is so proud her matching pink shirt that has glitter on it to match her tutu and then wants to wear her cowboy boots.
I have learned that I would much rather be with the kids on a Saturday night instead of getting a babysitter. And I have also learned that sometimes I NEED to get a babysitter so I can go out and be Carrie and not have someone call me Mom every 12 seconds.
I have learned that taking each kid out one at a time can make a huge difference and see how they act without having 2 siblings around that also want to attention.
And the cleaning of the house part...sucks. I read someone say before that cleaning the house with the kids around is like trying to eat an OREO while brushing your teeth. wont ever argue that statement.
Sometimes I lose my patience and get upset that I yell louder and I am only human and it wont effect the other great memories that they will have when they are older.
I have learned that no matter how much I have learned it will never be enough and I need to keep on learning.
I tend to bite off more than I can chew and I am learning to decide what really matters and pick my battles. And if I cant go to a PTA meeting doesn't mean I don't care, I just cant do it sometimes and the meeting will still go on without me.
I have learned that having 1 handful of amazing friends is enough.
I have learned to lean on family members and not be afraid to ask for help sometimes.
I am lucky to say the least, I have a husband that goes above and beyond and sometimes acts like one of my own children but I wouldn't change that for anything, he is my rock and I couldn't do this without him.
I have learned to keep rolling with the punches, to keep swimming and to keep on keeping on.
I have learned to really soak in special moments as I watch Cassidy's last preschool Halloween party even though I might be behind in my work stuff, I can never get that Halloween party back and the work will still be on my desk the next day. And to take time to watch Tanner draw and seeing me watching him is more important to him than the actual drawing. And to talk to Tristen about how much football has meant to him and why he feels like I should learn all the plays so I know why he did what he did when he made that tackle on the field.
I have learned that disciplining my kids is my weakness and I try to give them 5 ways out of it before I do discipline them. It may have taken 11 years but I know that they do respect me more when I correct them and it gets easier. I wont always feel bad about 22 minutes of time outs in 1 day. And a glass of wine helps me forget ;)
I have learned to give credit to a community that has also helped mold my babies and accept the fact that I cant do this alone. And I'm so thankful to have the people around me that I do trust to guide them in the right direction.
I know there is so much more to learn. I know that everyday is a constant struggle to keep things rolling and some days I will feel defeated and some days I do a pretty good job at this mom thing.
But with every phase we go through, ever Lego I step on, every sock that is missing and every mistake I make, I will get though this and I will someday look back and wish I could do these days again because I cant get a re-do.
What I have learned in 11 years is that I need 11 more before I can get this shit down. And even then I will still say Can I get another 11 years please?!
keep swimming, keep on keeping on and hold on to these moments as they pass...
And NEVER quit learning.
This is some of what I have learned in 11 years...stay tuned
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